This is Bob. Bob is an Agent of Hydra. As an agent of Hydra, he has dedicated his life to a bigger cause than his own pitiful existence. He’s happy. Do you want to be happy?
In that case, please don’t join Hydra. Join CSICON. We’re like Hydra, but we’re good guys. There’s almost no mention of plans to kill off humanity as we know it and worship an extraterrestrial Hive-like being that inhabits other bodies. Basically non-existant in our belief structure. Almost completely.
The CSICON Network, being wholesome and good, is always looking for more people to join our ranks in order to create more and better content for our fans, furthering our plan to
enslave entertain and educate humanity. If you want to join this constantly growing family, please send Breki an e-mail at
email@example.com and let us know how you could help contribute. We’ve got a couple of ideas below.
You’re always free – and encouraged! – to let us know if there’s anything special you think you could help out with, but we always have a number of openings for specific tasks that have higher priority than anything else. Here’s a list of what we’re looking for at this very moment:
Please note that none of these are paid positions – at least not at the moment. We want them to be, but as things stand, we’re just barely able to cover the costs of servers, hosting and Breki’s daily jar of beluga caviar and bottle of wine.
The CSICON Network is always looking for new interesting podcasts to distribute and promote. To join the network, the podcast must be of high audio quality, have a regular posting schedule and fit within our general field of “geek culture”; whether that be through specialized knowledge or a more generic field of knowledge. It must also not directly compete, topic-wise, with any of our existing podcasts, and must follow general radio language guidelines, including things like avoiding curse-words, not being religious or political in nature or promoting any form of hate-speech.
As a host on the CSICON network, we expect you to be active in our internal Slack team, so social skills and camaraderie are highly desired traits. You should also understand that the ownership of the podcast will remain yours and you will always be free to leave the network, should you so desire, given that you leave some warning in advance so that we can help smooth out the transition process. We will take care of all of the hosting and distribution for you, leaving you to focus on the actual content instead of the administration.
To apply, we would recommend that you have at least three episodes of something recorded for us to listen to in order to make up our minds for whether or not to include the podcast on the network. Include in your e-mail to Breki (at
firstname.lastname@example.org) a description of you and your co-hosts, the topic of the show and any relevant statistics about your current listener numbers etc. If you have any plans for expansion or changes to the show down the line, or if there’s anything you feel we could help you with, please include that in the e-mail as well.
Geekdays is the biggest show on the network, and is currently in looking for one or two more people to help the writing staff create the daily script.
As much as we joke about the basement writers’ room of CSICON tower, we do love our writers. They are the engine of the show, and without them Breki would be little more than a AI with a manly baritone – and nothing to say. It’d be all show and no substance (actually, come to think of it, no show either). Don’t think that all the jokes that we make on Geekdays at the writers’ expense are true, they write them all because they wanted to come up with a compelling mythology between the host and writing staff for the on air product. We hope that you are interested in adding to this mythology by joining the Geekdays writings staff. And don’t worry, the writers room is actually a lively Slack channel, and not some basement hell hole.
Applicants for the job would be expected to write one or two stories, roughly 300 words long, on relatively short notice from Sunday through Thursday. They should have a broad understanding of various facets of geek culture. Our writers see themselves as the jack of all trades type, and it comes in handy as they do have to switch from articles about space to articles about Nintendo games to articles about hacking. It helps if you’re capable of working jokes into the story every now and then, mostly of the PG-13 variety. Prospective writers would need to be able to work with the winning personalities of the existing writing staff, and not be bothered by poop jokes. A near-fanatical obsession with Elon Musk is also a handy trait.
This being a podcast that airs five new episodes every week, the production time of each episode is fairly short. All of our current writers are based in the United States, and the deadline for story submission is in the evening of the day before the next episode is recorded, around 8pm PDT or 11pm EST. New writers would ideally also be located in North America to better deal with time zones and to better encourage collaboration with the other writers.
If you think you can be a writer for Geekdays, and possibly do better than our current crop of writers, please send a message to email@example.com and we’ll be sending you a story or two for you to write. Feel free to include any writing samples have available, if you have them.
Geekdays Content Creator
Geekdays is the biggest show on the network, and is constantly looking for a way to grow. One of the ways that we want to do this is by adding more content than Breki’s current daily six-story read. This could be a weekly three-minute segment on comic book releases, a daily overview of tech-related financial news or something similar.
At the moment, we’re not looking for any particular segment, but if you have an idea for one, please send a message to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll get back in touch with you. Feel free to include any previous recordings you have available.